I don’t remember why we wound up at the ol’ Jami Bee on David’s birthday, but I’m sure it had something to do with his folks not wanting to pick up after us. The Jami Bee is one of those motels that you’d choose to drive on by looking for a Motel 6 or Holiday Inn. It had a look and a feel to it that would make it fit right into any horror movie’s seedy place where bad shit happens.

Before we had our night out at the mall or whatever we did that night we packed up the VCR and hit the video store to pick up something to watch later. Snack cakes, chips, dips, sodas and candy were everywhere. The lights went out and the movie started up.

976-EVIL is the only one I remember watching that night. The funny thing is I didn’t remember most of the movie when I watched it again today. The two things I did remember were Stephen Geoffreys and Lezlie Dean. Stephen was a favorite of mine from Fright Night in his role as Evil Ed, and was the main reason I wanted to see this in the first place. Lezlie Dean, however, is remembered for very different reasons; a motorcycle jacket and a pleated skirt. NICE!

So, what happens when you call a 976 number that has been taken over by Satan? Well, you become one of his minions hell bent on killing and, you know, spray painting shitty graffiti. That’s exactly what happens to Hoax (Geoffreys) in this movie. He’s a goob with a religious nutcase for a mom and a Fonzi starter kit for a cousin that goes by the name of Spike. Despite getting picked on all of the time he seems to be fairly well adjusted, or is he. Once he tastes the sweet nectar of Satan’s power he decides it’s time to make some folks pay for what they’ve done to him.

When watching it today, I was shocked to see that Robert Englund directed it. I can’t believe I wouldn’t remember something like that. I was also surprised by the fact I enjoyed it. The acting wasn’t terrible and some of the effects were decent. No, some of the effects were down right laughable, but I don’t care because it was a fun ride. The main gripe I have with it is the fact the character’s name is Hoax. What kind of name is that?! Watch this movie to find out what happens to parents who give their kids stupid names.

They made a sequel, which I don’t remember watching, but I do remember the box cover. Maybe I’ll hunt it down and take a loo, but I won’t make it a priority.

The birthday party? Yeah, we all went to sleep and were picked up the following day by Dave’s dad. No murders, gunshots or hookers were heard or seen, so I guess the Jami Bee wasn’t as bad as we originally thought.

I plan on writing about the movies I love and hate. By “write” I mean throw words onto the page an let anyone who reads this sort it all out. I’m no writer by any means, but I do have a lot of opinions.

Get ready.